These past few days I have been very aware of this and trying to do my best to let myself cry when I feel like crying.  I cried before telling my son his friend passed away, I let a few tears roll down my face as I held him and let those words sink in, and I’ve slowed down enough to listen try to pay attention to what I’m feeling.

There have been too many times where I didn’t let myself cry because I had to be strong for my kids, or my mom, or whoever.  Too many times where it eventually all comes crashing through and overtakes me in a mess of emotions.  Stress, sadness, worry, fear… as you hold any emotion in, in actually begins to amplify it. 
The pressure increases more and more like a balloon being blown up to big, just ready to burst.

On the other hand, if you allow yourself to feel it, the intensity decreases. You will feel lighter.
You are better able to move forward, be more functional and think clearer. THAT is the best condition to be in when you are trying to help yourself, your child or a loved one through something hard.

Trust me.  It works wonders.
This is what I do (even if I’m not always perfect at it) and this is what I help many others do.
This is part of being resilient.
And it works.
There is nothing wrong with you being sad (or whatever ‘negative’ emotion it is).
Feeling whatever you are feeling and need to feel is the best form of self-care.

All the other forms of self-care are much more obvious (and also important to do!)
You need to sleep. You need to eat.
You need to shower and get dressed and do something you love.
And of course, pray and read God’s word.

However, allowing emotions to come is often overlooked or viewed as unhelpful,
when it is the best thing you could do to be stronger for yourself or for others.
You will see, that as you allow yourself to feel AND you do those things that fuel you,
you will better handle whatever you are facing.

And if you don’t, you will struggle and find yourself having more breakdowns.
So if you find yourself struggling, check in on you.
Are you doing all the forms of self-care you need?

And if you find yourself trying to be strong, 
set aside time to allow for you to feel what you are trying to hold in or hide.

You can’t be an anchor if your chain is all knotted up or rusted & stuck. 
You’ve got to release that chain so you can do what you were meant to do as an anchor.
Every link in the chain matters. Are you taking care of those links?
And who or what are you tied to?

Trust God.
There is great wisdom and purpose in these opposites.
Without the pain, you will not know true joy.
You cannot grow without a struggle.
And all these emotions you feel are God-given.

Allow them to come.
Allow yourself to feel them.
Listen to the message they are trying to deliver to you.
Only then will they flow through you.
And that is when you will be able to move forward, even stronger than before.