There’s this beautiful and terrible phenomenon of opposites…
Ying and Yang.
Virtue and Vice.
Joy and Pain.
I wrote this in the middle of my entry from yesterday and cut it out. I felt like it would be something I eventually would write about so I just pasted it at the end for another time…
Who knew that I would come here to write about what is in my heart this morning and read those words and find them to be exactly what I am experiencing and wanting to share about.
Today, my mother heart is hurting. My 13 year old’s close friend had a terrible dirt biking accident last night and this morning we found out that despite the care he received, he did not make it.
My momma heart is breaking on so many levels.
For my son… seeing his shock and his pain and his tears. Trying to process that his friend is gone.
And for my friend, who just lost her son.
And for his family.
And all the kids who knew him.
And for all the poor moms who now are comforting their sad kids at this news.
And at the same time, I sent my 15 year old off to school this morning with cheer & well wishes of “good luck” and “have so much fun” as he heads out with his High School soccer team to go play in the second round of State Championships. And they get to stay overnight in a hotel, too.
Excitement. Eager anticipation and joy. Fun.
Ying and Yang.
Joy and Pain.
I’m feeling it, for real right now.
On the one hand, so happy and excited.
And on the other, trying to keep the tears from being too messy.
This is one of the most extremes I have experienced thus far in my parenting.
There are a few that come as close seconds… and many “smaller” times of this dance of juggling the opposites.
It is familiar to all moms, I’m sure.
And it feels like a rollercoaster—such extremes.
But this is life.
How do I handle this?
How do I stay strong?
How can you handle your opposites?
Here are a few things I have learned that buoy me up, that I hold on to.
- God knows me personally and cares deeply about me. And EVERY one of His children.
- It is critical to let yourself feel—ALL of it. Being strong doesn’t always mean I am happy or that I have it ‘all together.’
- I need to take care of me, so I can be there for my kids & loved ones in whatever way they need it.
- There is great wisdom and purpose in the ying & the yang, the joy & the pain.
These are anchors for me, with God being my #1.
He will never leave you.
He is right there, through it all. Always.
Don’t lose sight of Him.
If you look for Him, you will find Him.
