Month: June 2021

Who are you when dealing with difficult circumstances?

"It is the trials of life that make you humble and make you strong." -Marjorie Pay Hinckley

On Monday I ran 6 miles on a local trail without an ankle brace.  It was a big deal.

I had been physically unable to for almost 10 months.

Last August, I was playing chair soccer with my boys and husband in our front yard when I rolled my ankle and completely tore my anterior talofibular ligament on my ankle.

The prescription for healing it without surgery was:
* wear a boot for 8 weeks day and night, with the first 4 weeks no weight bearing
* then, wear an ankle brace 24-7 for 4 more weeks
*after, gradually increase running and exercise weekly
*and finally decrease the use of the ankle brace each week following

When my doctor explained this to me, all I could think was “Why did this happen!?! And why now?”

We still had 2 ½ weeks of summer.  I had a half marathon race scheduled 2 weeks later and a Spartan Race scheduled 6 months later.  I was training and in the best shape I had ever been. I also had a 2-year-old to chase around, weekly church activities, a family to cook meals for and drive around, etc., etc., etc. The list of reasons that life was going to be awful continued on and on.

I followed the instructions yet in December my ligament was still completely torn. And so, I was scheduled to have surgery to repair the ligament and my full recovery was at least 4 more months away.

Why do I tell you all this?

Life is full of things like this on all kinds of levels. Things happen that we do not understand.  Things happen that we wish had not. And we question, “Why did this happen?” or “why did this happen now?”

We cannot change what happened, but we can change our thinking about what happened. 
Changing our thoughts about our situation is like seeing other perspectives.

Don’t get me wrong though. It also is not just a matter of thinking positively. It is not getting rid of all negative emotions. But it is choosing how you do want to feel even though the circumstance is something you cannot change.

In the beginning, when I first was injured, all I could see was all the miserable things that the injury would mean for me.  However, I realized that my ligament was torn. That was a fact.  But my life being miserable was not a fact. 

I also knew that I did not want to be miserable until my ligament healed. And I knew that it was an option.

As I pushed aside my questioning and misery I was able to see things in a different light.
I learned so much.  I grew.

When others served my family and I for months bringing dinners, driving my children to and from places and watching my kids I learned about humility and gratitude.
I became more determined than ever that I would not lose my muscle gains and progress in my physical fitness.
I realized I was mentally stronger and more capable than I thought.
I learned patience.
I became more grateful for my body and what it is usually capable of.
I spent more time with my kids because there was not much else that I could do.

The list goes on and on.

When we recognize that we have control over how we see our circumstances and what we make of them, we can improve our life even during difficult or unwanted circumstances.  That is available to you in any aspect of your life.

God knows you and loves you.  He knows what these difficulties and struggles can do for you.

If we move forward, trusting in God and striving to see things in a different light, we will grow.  We will benefit from the “hard” and the “miserable” things and we will feel better throughout them instead of just enduring them.  We better show up how we want to be.

My experience of going from a highly active lifestyle to not being able to even walk for weeks and extremely limited physical activities for 10 months could have truly been miserable.  Instead, I was able to learn, grow and find things to focus on that got me through and kept me emotionally strong and stable.

Changing our thinking without changing our circumstance will take practice.

So, when life throws at you an unpleasant circumstance, start with curiosity.  Take a look at what options you have available to you of how to think about it. How can I create this into something beneficial?  What can I learn from this? What small things might be good here? What am I grateful for right now?

You get to choose anything you want to think, and sometimes that may not be positive and that is okay.  The point is that you get to choose it.

You are in control of you, your thoughts, how you feel and how you show up. Nobody else can change those things.  Isn’t that awesome??

Have you ever experienced a time when things were difficult, but you were able to get
through from a healthy and strong place emotionally? What did you do differently?